Munich & Madrid


This is crystal ball time for the Lads Whatsapp and Family Messenger Groups. This will truly separate those who know their onions from those that talk a good game. Finish at the bottom of this league next May and it’s akin to Ron Atkinson getting in the away dugout!

Predictions are based on this season’s Championship teams to go up and down and to predict Forest’s league finish.
There’s also a lighter prediction for a season dream scenario, club captain choice and who will be Forest’s most influential player.

Meet the contenders and their predictions for the season;

Ross. 41

Exhibitionist. Desecrator of monuments on foreign shores. A master of falling over on the football pitch. Think Matty Cash after 15 pints the night before. Least sensible member of the Allen family.

1. Cardiff. 2. Fulham. Play-off Leeds.
Relegated Barnsley, Wigan and QPR.
Forest to finish 15th.

Dream scenario: Ideally I’d like forest to go up on the last day and the sheep drop into the bottom 3. Jack Robinson for skipper. He’s 100 % man every game. Passion like that should breed throughout a team with his example. Carvalho as the most influential player…..He’s just levels above the rest of the squad.

Mullett. 39

One of the first modern day full backs. He can run but got  no end of stick for pulling out of challenges. However, he once hit Steve Scoffham (ex Notts County) with a tackle so hard; Stuart Pearce would have been proud of it. Unfortunately, Hawley let himself down badly by apologising profusely immediately afterwards and offering Steve a lift home. Hero to zero.
Think Brian Rice in the tackle.

1. Leeds. 2. Cardiff. Play-offs Forest.
Relegated Barnsley, Charlton and Reading.    Forest 5th

Dream scenario: Watson as captain as he seems to be a favourite with the manager. Joe Lolley will be the most influential as he is probably the player we miss most when unavailable. Dream scenario:Keogh scoring an own goal in last minute at pride park to secure the double over them this season. Would still not beat benny’s last min winner though nothing ever will!!

Jeff. 40

Should’ve been nicknamed The Hairdryer during his stint as local non-league manager of Independiente FC. Think a poor man’s Neil Warnock. If you backed off from the orange tin after a poor first half display, the chances were he’d have fallen out with himself before you got in there. The face of Forest on last season’s EFL advert for Sky. They wouldn’t dare give him a microphone.
World class ranter.

1.Fulham. 2. Cardiff. Play- offs Leeds.
Bot 3 Barnsely, Millwall and Reading.
Forest 10th

Dream scenario: Forest beat Derby twice and they get relegated on the 1st day of the season. I genuinely can’t tell you who will or should be captain as I can’t think of any candidate who will start every/most games!  Grabban – if fit and supplied well, he can score the goals to get us in the reckoning.

danny. 40

One of the best players I’ve ever played with. Didn’t like heading the ball though. Think Gladstone Small defending an aerial bombardment of balls into the box. Holds the world record for having the most inanimate objects balanced on his head whilst asleep on a stag do in Prague.

1. Fulham 2.Leeds. Play-offs: Forest.
Relegation: Wigan, Barnsley and QPR.
Forest: 5th

Dream scenario: Beat the sheep twice. Captain Dawson if fit (if not Milosevic). The most influential player will be Joe Lolley

Ivan. 41

I’m amazed he’s had a go at these predictions. Usually struggles to get off the fence. Think Jeremy Corbyn and Brexit. Not so quiet on the pitch. The hatchet man of Sawley Park. His aggression knew no boundaries. This is the man who constantly kicked his twin brother’s dodgy knees.

1. Cardiff. 2. Leeds. Play-offs – West Brom.
Relegated- Wigan, Charlton and Millwall.
Forest 6th

Forest beat derby to play-off last spot, last game of season. Milosevic to be captain- steady and calm under pressure and can see the pitch. Lolley – makes things happen with being able to run with ball and beat players.

butch. 41

Owner of a prized 1987 Forest Home shirt which I’m extremely jealous of. I’m not an advocator of grave digging but if Butch is buried in it, then there might not be much choice. Jack of all trades on the pitch. Useful in times of crisis on a Sunday morning (hungover no show players). Think a ginger Ben Osborn.

1. Fulham. 2. Leeds. Play-offs Bristol city.
Relegated: QPR, Millwall and Barnsley.
Forest: 8th

Dream scenario: Forest to clinch promotion at s***e park on the last day!

slacky. 44

Generous on the pitch with his wayward passing, the least generous man I’ve ever met when tasked with buying a round. New York City fanatic, it’s a matter of time before he starts saying ‘soccer’ Handy to have around in Lower Bridgford when the moaners start. He can’t abide idiots. Think Charles Bronson spliced with Jason Statham.

1. Cardiff. 2. Leeds. Play-offs Fulham.
Relegated Barnsley.
Forest to finish 6th

Dream scenario is Joao Carvalho skinning a couple at Sh**e Park and scoring the 5th in a demolition of the sheep. Forest captain will be Dawson for his experience and leadership qualities (if fit. The most influential player will be Joe Lolley. Could be a massive season in an attack minded team which could well be geared to his style.


Ilkeston’s answer to Charlie Chaplin. He’s not particularly funny, he’s just got hundreds of kids. Never saw him on the football pitch, Sunday mornings in bed were evidently his priority! Dresses like a man twenty years older than himself. Think Fred Dibnah.

1. Leeds. 2. Fulham. Play-offs. Cardiff.
Relegated: Barnsley, Charlton and QPR.
Forest 8

Dream scenario to take 6 points off the sheep , clinch 2nd place last game of season and for the sheep to get relegated. Captain , Jack Robinson – totally committed 100% , if captain might sort out his discipline i.e bookings. Most influential player – going to put my neck on the line and go Tiago Silva don’t know why, just a feeling that he’s going to be quality signing the way Dawson was bigging him up

stella. 16

Would give Dave from Clifton a run for his money on BBC Radio Nottingham’s Match Talk when she isn’t happy about Forest. A genuine contender for a Nobel Peace Prize. Naïve based on one of her predictions below. Suspect choice in boys. Think Stacey Dooley.

1. Derby 2.Boro 3. Play- offs: Forest after finishing 4th.
Relegated: Milwall, Barnsley and Charlton

I would pick them all to be captain as they all work hard. Most influential player will be Albert Adomah as he shows spirit in the sport and encourages other players.

cameron. 14

Will only interact with his family if its football related. Spends his life on FIFA. An expert in conning his Mum into thinking he isn’t well – so that he can spend more time on FIFA. Has an annual day off to celebrate the new release of FIFA. Think Ferris Bueller spending his day off playing FIFA.

1. Fulham 2.West Brom.3.
Forest to win the play-offs after finishing 5th

Dream scenario is last minute winner in the play-offs, Dawson for captain and Uncle Albert will be the most influential player this season.

GAZ. 39

Least talented of the Eley brothers. The most fickle forest fan I’ve ever met. Will say ‘that’s it, I tell you what; I’m never going again, they’re crap’ after every defeat. Season card went in the bin 30 minutes into the Olympiacos friendly.  Barely sees a half of football when attending games. Would give Jeff  a run for his money when it comes to meltdowns. Think Arsenal TV.

1.Cardiff 2.Forest. Play-offs Brentford.
Relegated: Luton, Preston and Wigan

Dream scenario to beat Derby away with a Keogh own goal. Jack Robinson for captain, looks like a leader and he’s young. Joe Lolley is most influential player, the guy oozes class, assists and goals from where he chooses.

Scott. 41

Changes his mind more than the wind. Regularly talks nonsense on the group.  Generally annoying.  At a recent old boys reunion game and having no real intention to play, he still put the full kit on for the team photograph. Think John Terry.

1. Fulham.2. Leeds. Play-offs Boro.
Relegated: Wigan, Reading and Charlton.

Dream scenario: Carvalho, last minute, overhead winner against the sheep in the play-off final. Hits both posts and goes in off Richard Keogh’s eyeball. Dawson for captain, he makes such a difference when he’s back there. Going for Lewis Grabban to have the most influence, if he’s scoring goals than that means that the promotion plan will be coming together.

DOM. 42

Likes the finer things in life. Would happily apply the breaks midway through a drinking session to enjoy a cheeseboard and a glass of wine. Instigator of wind ups whilst sitting quietly in the background, sniggering. You know the type. Once convinced a friend, it’d be a good idea to put a forest shirt on a state monument in a foreign country. When said friend was dealt with by armed police, Dominic couldn’t wait to tell the rest of the lads (drinking in a bar next door) that said friend was now sitting in the back of a riot van contemplating his actions. Think Dick Dastardly.

West Brom, Fulham and Bristol in play-offs. Relegation Barnsley, Wigan & Millwall.

Forest to finish 6th. Robinson for Captain, I like his passion. Influential player: Carvalho – looks class on the ball and could make things tick, especially with a good ball winning midfielder next to him. Dream scenario: Forest to go unbeaten and win the league, Derby to get relegated after a Keogh own goal on the last day of the season.

Duffer. 71

Longest serving chairman of the Long Eaton Sunday morning league. Chairman role loosely defined as: bringing down sweets and whisky to rouse hungover substitutes. Enjoys makeovers with his family. Falls off his bike a lot. Think Last of the Summer Wine.

Promotion Leeds, Cardiff. Play off winners forest. Relegation Barnsley, Birmingham, Wigan.

Forest position 6th.
Dream scenario: beat the sheep in play off final with last minute own goal by keogh. Captain, Dawson. Influential player, Carvalho

Graham. 67

Having warned his 2 sons about arguing with each other on a night out, Graham has to be separated from his own brother following an argument about photographs. To insure against looking foolish on the next trip, Graham created a code of conduct; limiting an all day session to 4 pints of beer, walking away from any trouble and having an early night. Clearly prone to delusions of grandeur considering the reputation of said 2 sons. A talented footballer, he coped with hair loss by his late 20’s. Was referred to as ‘Grandad’ by opposing teams. Ironically was still playing when he became a Grandad. Think Bobby Charlton.

1 West Brom, 2 Fulham, 3 Leeds (P) Relegated: Stoke, Millwall & Charlton.
Forest to finish 6th.

Dream scenario: Forest to go undefeated for last 23 games, Norwich Manager is sacked & joins Forest 15 games in. This sees record goal scoring at City Ground in 39 years, Joao Carvalho plays all of the last 23 games, record assists pushes Forest into play off’s. Most influential player: A Semedo, New captain joins Forest at some point under new Manager, desperately needed!

Ross P. 28

Classic armchair supporter. Never known him to attend a game. Dresses to impress, would think nothing of spending £450 on a jacket to look like a member of East 17. Handsome. A Czechoslovakian Barman was so taken aback by young Ross during a night out in Prague, he insisted on showing him how to make cocktails whilst treating his pals to an all expenses paid bar and disco for the rest of the night. Think Russell Brand with a short back and sides.

1. Leeds, 2. Fulham, Play-off. Bristol City. Relegation Luton, Reading and Barnsley.

Forest 7th
Jack Robinson would be my captain and the most influential player will be Joe Lolley. Dream scenario: Smash the sheep home and away and beating derby last game of the season to get into the play-offs.